They told me there would be days like this...

And those days would be called Mondays.

I had so many blog titles in my head all day long...because our weekend was CRAZY and I didn't get to blog. And then today happened. I wanted to blog about not knowing where I was going to put everything, or blog about the squabbling children, or blog about the fact that I have no idea what I'm doing - and I'm homeschooling anyway -- I had so much to say....

But now the kids are asleep so those entries of frustration are at bay. Held back by the sleep of the children. I really think that's why God gave us night. He knew mom's would need a break.

Now, though, all I want to do is rant about the TV.
The Professor was rocking Mini-E for bed time, while I read to the big kids. Rocking and not doing anything else will quickly conquer the parent. Sometimes before the rocking conquers the child. So he searched the TV for something on to watch and keep him awake.

I've gotten picky and there are a few times when we'll discuss whether the tv needs to be on at all. He settled on something that wasn't good and wasn't bad. You might call it "viewable".

There have been times where we've had the tv on just to have the tv on. Those days the frustration in the house is high - but that's another blog entry. (And it could preach...)

The show that was settled upon we consider to have a medium level of viewability. (I totally just made that word up. Where's webster's phone number?) The show? CSI:Miami - or as my brother-in-law calls it CSI:M.

I will not bore you with details about the plot. I'll tell you that about half-way through it I decided I wasn't going to get a decent thing written and I should go fold laundry. Did I?? No. (First mistake) I stayed through til the end. After all, it was half over. It could only get better.

I was wrong. Boy was I wrong.

When the show ended, I just wanted to cry.

How is it, that even though it seems the good guys win, there's still the sense - feeling - aura - of futility in the show? The good guys caught the bad guys (and gal).

They were a brother and sister duo of badness. He was killing to take vengence on his sister. She killed to protect him. All because of something that happened in their past.

Of course, the show regaled us of what "happened in the past" - their sister died because of an accident. I just wanted to go scoop up my babies and hold them.

They're asleep and I restrained myself. I left them where they lie. I'm easily-amused and random - not insane.

CSI:M is not the only show that seems to have a cloud of gloom over it. What got me started on noticing the "gloom" was the show "Cold Case." It comes on here on Sunday Nights. Twice now I've seen the last half of TWO shows and because The Professor was watching it.

The first time, I was rocking Mini-E because she was being cranky.
The second time, I watched the last half of the show after J-man fell asleep.

Both Times I'm sobbing by the time the show ended. SOBBING. Yes they caught the bad guys - but goodness... my heart just ached for both the "Victims" in the shows. Both times the sobbing caught me by surprise.

I realize it's TV.
I know there is some truth to all that TV produces because that's where they get their story lines. Both the shows both leave this -- well - I just don't know how to explain it.
The final credits don't run with a happy ending. They run with a sense of futility.

There's got to be something here, because one thing I know and that is: I'm not a mercy spirit. So I know that's not the problem. In tonight's episode, the bad guys were bad because of past mistakes. Mistakes made by their parents - medical community - themselves.

I see this lay out before me (in 45 minutes) and I KNOW that they can, with the help of God and the victory in Jesus, over come their past. I know that they can become victorious. Overcomers! Aha!!

So that's what it is - it's the intercessor in me rising up. Well, who'd-a-thought?

That really leads me to another thought, though. If I'm sensing this gloom over these TV shows...and there are others out there watching who don't know of the victory in Jesus, how do they handle it?

Do the shows produce fear? depression? I suppose that one could watch the shows and feel nothing - but I'm not sure how.

Now that I've done my thinking with my fingers on the keyboard, I understand a bit better. Does that mean I'm going to watch these shows again? Not if I can help it. (There's always laundry to be folded.)

I am wondering if I shouldn't have blogged about my squabble-filled day instead. It might have been more interesting.