As a mom, it's a constant struggle to not look on the failures of my children and not take them on as my own. Failures like:
-- lacking the maturity to realize that if books fall on your brother's head from the height of a door frame (no matter how innocent the prank) His head will hurt and he will scream and you will get in trouble.
-- If you start wrestling with your brothers, and you are a girl, you're liable to get hurt. Don't start something you can't finish. And if you're a brother, and I see you double team the sister who started the wrestling match -- You will get in trouble. Just sayin'.
-- Arguing instead of obedience.
You know -- those sort of failures. They really are failures of a sort. They know better. A wise woman told me that 'these kids are learning how to interact with the world by interacting with each other.'
oh -- goodie.
Apparently, I need to segment the world into four distinct parts and let them communicate with red phones and war threats.
Along with the normal, average mom stuff, I have the distinction to add homeschooling to the mix. Talk about egg shells there.
"What do you mean you don't know what a noun is??"
"YES! You have to do that writing assignment."
"No - A 't' does not make the 'n' sound."
Since that's not just enough for me ... I get to add the neurosis of being a writer/creative type to the mix.
Fine is often a key word. "Freaked out, insecure, neurotic and emotional". We writer types, or maybe it's just me, need to have some ego boosts now and again. I have a few extra special friends who'll stroke my ego - realistically - should the need arise. (I'd know if it's fake)(at least I'm fairly certain I would.) (grrr)
All three of those things makes me me. It also explains why I tend to run away. (Oh, wait, that's the prophet in me, apparently. So that just adds ONE More facet of my character.)
It's a darn good thing I'm easily amused and that I mostly like myself.
Otherwise, I'd be in serious trouble and be a serious mess.
Generally speaking, I'm a pretty well held together individual. Though - some days, One or more of my many facets can crack and I get 'Fine'. (See above)
On the really bad days?? Oh, never mind. Just think "blue" and you got it.
I read about putting together an "I don't suck file". I can't remember where I read it - but I followed the link to Christi Corbett's blog. AHA!!! A fellow writer!! Ms. Corbett wrote a fantastic article about her "You don't suck" file. I need such a file.
For each of my many facets, I need this encouragement.
For the mommy part of me, I'd make a note about the sweet things the kids did to help each other. I'd make a note about the moments they make me smile. That they show a glimmer of 'kindness'. Or what other people might have said about them.
For the teacher in me, I could save something that they've achieved. A moment in school where they've gotten it. Of course, like today, it would be hard to capture a moment. Watching G-man run back and forth from his history book to the map to track the progress of the pilgrims.
But i could write it down.
For the writer in me, of course, I'd keep the notes friends write me even here on my blog. These things are not for ego, these are moments, lifelines to encourage us to keep going.
We all need those cheerleaders ... and sometimes, we just need to be reminded that we're more than fine...and that we don't suck.
I'm starting mine.
Let me know if you start one, too.