Friday, February 26, 2010

Ah. The senses...

Sometimes I wonder about me.
I was reading this and and it amused me. And Scared me at the same time.

I don't fully understand those senses they were discussing.
After the fear was pushed aside as irrational.

the thought that came to my mind after was ...


I'm not sure...but maybe I should worry.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Elbow Appreciation Day....

Ah. The elbow.
The oft used and under appreciated joint.
Maybe only appreciated more than say - the knuckle in the big toe.

That's just fun to say, though "Toe Knuckle".

Yesterday The Professor had training with the local emergency response task force. They were going to put up and take down the giant tents they keep for emergencies. Practice makes for easy tent erecting, don'tcha know.

He called about two-ish. Surprised to hear from him, I figured he was calling to tell me he was on his way home early. He was. just not the way i thought he was.

"Hi! honey! I'm surprised to hear from you."

"Well. I thought I should call. There's been an accident."

Since he sounded cheerful, I didn't immediately picture severed limbs. Or puncture wounds. Which would have been needless mental terror anyway.

"Okay. Are you alright?" Car accident? Someone else?

"Not exactly. They think I broke my elbow."

Huh. "Do I need to come get you?"

He told me that friends were bringing him and his car home.
The kids were excited when I told them, "Firemen are bringing dad home."

"Will he be coming home in a fire truck?" - G-man asked this with the same excitement that would have been had if Dad had  been coming home on, say, a rocket ship.

He came home with a soft cast/splint/sling thing and a growing pain.

He passed out in the doctor's office. The doctor calmly informed him, "It's perfectly normal. There's a nerve bundle that when it gets hurt, it's defense is to lower your blood pressure and make you sleep."

Which to my layman's mind means, you hit your elbow so hard, it protested and knocked you on your ..... put you to sleep.

It kept him up most of the night, the pain meds took the edge off - but couldn't stop the spasming pain.

He tried to sleep on the couch. But the dog jumped on him to get to the cat.

If I could have seen him, I'd have killed the dog.

or locked him in the garage.

We're waiting on an orthopedist to call. But the professor has given me the deadline of 10 am before I call them.

his elbow hurts.

So today is Elbow appreciation day. I'm grateful for bending my elbows pain free.
Reaching to scratch my head or touch my toes.  Being able to bend pain free...

If I could kiss my elbow, I would.
As it is - I can just blog about it.
Which, honestly, I can do pain free because of my elbows.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

I See You

When people tell me "It's good to see you!" after I've been away from them for a while, my heart wants to say "It's good to be SEEN!" Especially after that two week stretch when kids were sick and I was sick, or on those really difficult days of child training. It's just good to be seen.

Sometimes... I just need to know that it's good for others to see me.

One someone in particular.

In the movie “Avatar” they have a phrase they use to show honor to each other and the creation around them. “I See You” is used in a way to say that they see the importance of the one that they see. Whether or not they are killing for food or greeting a friend.

Now I preface my use of the movie example by saying that we won’t talk about the existentialism in this movie, just like people don’t talk about it in Star Wars. Just wanted to make that clear.

Because God used the phrase to minister to me. We had a few weeks. You know the kind. The weeks where nothing was going correct. We were sick, even though I prayed, we weren’t getting better - Which is UNUSUAL!

The Professor was having stress at work. There was stress at home. I couldn’t figure out what was going on. Did I have a confession on my lips that was creating more chaos? Instead of getting rid of it?

Then One day on Facebook someone I love and trust very much comes onto the chat feature and asks how I’m doing. I haven’t chatted with anyone in a long time, so it was a bit of surprise to have the chat window pop up and then to read what she had to tell me, I was even more surprised. And touched.

“You have been in my prayers throughout the night. I kept seeing your face, but you were smiling... a very peaceful smile. I would pray for you, for Doug and for your children and doze back off...

Then I would wake up.... I would say “Lord, do you want to talk or am I to war?” I heard war.... I saw you again, but you were smiling.... So, I warred that your peace would not be disturbed and the peace of God in your home would be ever present and the joy and peace of God would be ever rising up in Doug.... Doze off and woke up again... It was 6:37.....

I said, time to get up... anything significant about the time? I felt like Holy Spirit said Isaiah 63:7.

So I used Bible Gateway and looked it up in the Amplified:  I will recount the loving-kindnesses of the Lord and the praiseworthy deeds of the Lord, according to all that the Lord has bestowed on us, and the great goodness to the house of Israel, which He has granted them according to His mercy and according to the multitude of His loving-kindnesses.

We discussed my ears. At the time we had this chat, I had pressure in my ears. And couldn’t hear very well. I’ve not had pressure like that in a very long time.

She then told me something that could only have been Holy Spirit inspired: “Rehearse the goodness of God.... Rehearse Isaiah 63:7 LIke David rehearsed who God was and what God had done for him.. He had taken down the bear and the lion and He would take down Goliath! I believe this really is a key to your warfare and it is a rehearsing that will release that tightening (that is what I am seeing in the spirit, like a rope that is trying to squeeze you.. a tightening and you are saying What is this?”

She then proceeded to tell me that she saw me posting this. And I didn’t. Which might explain why I haven’t had a good blog post subject. And have been having problems with the plot of my story. I forgot to do what God’s voice said to do.

As I sat and pondered the conversation out of nowhere, I remembered the phrase from Avatar.

This conversation was God’s way of saying to me, “I see you.”

Amid it all - He sees me.
Sometimes, that’s all I need to hear.

As for rehearsing the Goodness of God as it says in Isaiah 63:7 - what is rehearsing? Going over and over and over again ...

How has God been good to me? What praiseworthy deeds has He done?

I looked the verse up in the Message Bible here’s the passage:

All the Things God Has Done That Need Praising
 7-9I’ll make a list of God’s gracious dealings,
   all the things God has done that need praising,
All the generous bounties of God,
   his great goodness to the family of Israel—
Compassion lavished,
   love extravagant.
He said, “Without question these are my people,
   children who would never betray me.”
So he became their Savior.
   In all their troubles,
   he was troubled, too.
He didn’t send someone else to help them.
   He did it himself, in person.
Out of his own love and pity
   he redeemed them.
He rescued them and carried them along
   for a long, long time.

How simple this sounds!!!
Almost too easy - but sometimes we make God too difficult.

I’ll make a list of all the things God has done that need praising.

God is the God of creativity. I have finished two novels.
I have been giving the chance to learn basic dance steps.
He has given me a vision for both of these things.

He gives me songs to sing and sings over me.

Because of a VERY hurtful time about 3 years ago (And I mean because of..) God placed us in a position to receive from Him - to be propelled into a new season with Him.

I can not... Sincerely can not ... imagine what our lives might be now. I know I wouldn’t have been set free from a religious spirit.

He gave me the ability to dream again.

He makes my heart sing and my imagination soar.

He makes me Laugh. Which is helpful because He gave me this humor.

He speaks to me in my language. (A feat not everyone can do.)

I would be completely and utterly worthless if not for My King.

Isaiah 63:7 will be an important verse around the Laundry Pile for a long time.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

I will lift my voice...

Some songs drift into my head quietly...and linger.
Others jump in and refuse to leave.

This is one that jumped.
it jumped hard.

I will lift my voice...

Friday, February 5, 2010

She fought the Tooth....

Mini-Me is a complex individual.
She's 11. She's a bit gender biased.
All the characters she plays on games - she prefers them to be girls.
Can you say "Girl Power"? Barbie has nothing on my Mini-me.
She's Logical to a fault.

She actually sort of reminds me of Temperance Brennan - Bones - from the show "Bones". I'm really quite tempted to teach her to say "I don't understand" in that tone of voice. but anyway.. I rather hope her future husband will be like Booth - bring a little fun into her life.

She can be overly sensitive..but at the same time - VERY direct.
Very by the book.
She has a sense of humor, don't get me wrong...but sometimes the things we say that are funny - she just doesn't get. And that's okay, too. Someone has to be willing to tell me I'm not as funny as I think I am.

Even if they're wrong. I"m quite funny.

Last night, she told me that one of her molars was really quite loose.
Know it was quite loose made her want to pull it out.
She struggled for 30 minutes. Calmly tugging and pulling. Tilting and spitting.
It hurt when she pushed it in one direction.
Her teeth have a tendency to have ONE side with a very sharp edge or point.
She cried at one point because it was aching and poking.
I suggested she give it a rest.
She just wanted the tooth OUT!
She did point at me. A very direct finger point, and a very direct tone of voice to tell me she did NOT want me to mess with it.


So she went back to work. She managed to twist it - which managed to poke.
She hopped up and down and cried. Not tears of sadness. Frustration and anger.
"Do you want to wait until morning?"
"NO! I just want it out!"
I sent her to swish with warm water.
She came back much relieved, telling me that it helped tremendously.

It was bed time, so I left her to swish and I think she was watching Zack and Cody on the internet. (See? She does have a sense of humor!)

I was at work in the kitchen...when she came to find me --- ALL SMILES!!

"LOOK!! I did it!!!"

She showed me the gap and the tooth.
There it was the very thin, very pointy jagged side that was causing the pain.

All smiles. Jubilation!! Evident on her 11 year old face.
She persevered!!!

"It feels so great to have victory over the tooth!"

I love that kid.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Hope for world peace after all...

I think every mom - or at least every mom who will admit it - would say that they live for those moments where the children suddenly understand something... suddenly express a thought you've taught them ... or ... those moments when the SIBLINGS are actually nice to each other.

I'll admit it.
My kids don't like each other all the time.
Sometimes I look at them and wonder if there will be peace on earth.
or at this house.


many days I'm not quite so hopeful.
Which is why I'm glad I've got know, hope of the world and all that.
If he can be the hope of the world, I'm sure He can do something to the mess here in the landry pile.
Not the laundry -- the other messes.. .. you know what I meant.

Then comes those moments when one of them just runs up and gives me a hug to warm my heart. (I know when they're sucking up, don't get me wrong)...

Yesterday was one of those moments that made my heart overflow.

Bubbles, who can be oh so whiney, came whining at me. "I want to play wiff someone."

"You do? You want to play WITH someone?" said I, trying to correct speech.


"Then tell them! Hey I wanna play!"

J-man pipes in and says "She can play with me. I need assistance." (He was playing Lego: Star Wars on the PS2.)

She was THRILLED!!! With a capital THRILL and I was touched.

Constantly in a battle of -- whatever. Sibling rivalry is an extreme sport.
To see this exhibition of a love that has to be deep (Buried deep) it gave me my own thrill.

There is hope, after all.
A hope that our species will live. and  peace in the laundry pile can be achieved without UN sanctions.
For that, I"m very glad.

Monday, February 1, 2010

Sickness, Emotions and facing the past...

We had ice. We had snow.
The way everyone was carrying on ... the weather people, the newscasters, the facebook statuses...I fully expected to wake up on Thursday morning, the last Thursday of January, to find that Hell had frozen over.

It hadn't. I was almost disappointed.
We didn't get rain until noon ish. Then it started freezing. Then it started snowing.
I like snow. I'm not such a fan of the ice.
Along with the snow storm, came a cold.
I thought we were done feeling poorly or at least on the mend. It was rather poetic, for the ice to melt and us to feel better.

My brother is getting married...and we're thrilled.
As a gift, I thought I'd paint the bedroom for my niece to be. My brother lives in my parents old home. My niece to be - Princess M - will actually be sleeping in my old room. I knew the room hadn't been painted in a long while.

I know because I painted it. Sigh. Nearly 20 years ago.

In the process of prepping the room for paint, my brother helped me clean it up.
We were faced with the "we can't get rid of that - we might need it."
These thoughts really are rooted in a poverty spirit. Saving junk instead of getting rid of it because we might need it -- and then letting it collect dust and mildew. It's rather an interesting visual picture..

it could preach.

So as we cleaned out that ONE room - and I made several trips to the other rooms, I was struck by how much stuff had been saved. And how much really, truly needed to be tossed away. It was a good thing I stayed there to paint a wall, because if I'd come home then, there's no telling what I might have thrown away.

I'm not one for saving sentimental things. I don't a lot of knick knacks. I don't like them They collect dust.

What I do have, though, are books. Lots and lots of books.

And children who have lots and lots of toys.

And today, I don't feel good.
I'm more tired than normal. I don't know if it's because of painting and trying to rush into activity too fast.
But really, facing the past has given me a glimmer of how the future has changed.

The poverty spirit will not continue through my family line -- and by gum, we'll throw out parts and pieces and not save them. I'm also convinced we should paint. And paint soon.

but not until I feel better.

Otherwise, we might have more boring, maudlin posts like this one - and I'm not sure how much either of us can take.