Monday, July 23, 2007

How far apart do you plant them?

The Professor was walking out of the house this morning, innocently heading for his day at work, when he stopped at the door, his hand on the door knob and asked me "Why are there forks all over the yard?"

I was grumpy. I did not take his tone well.
I was checking e-mail before feeding the children breakfast.
I was a bit curt in my reply, "Well, I. don't. know."
I mean, really. Why would I know why cutlery was all over our yard. The last I saw of our yard yesterday, he was mowing it. I was toting in a Mini-E.

I got up to see. Because I thought, maybe the trash had spilled or someone else's trash had spilled. I saw a few forks and thought maybe a storm had blown trash around.

Ours was the only yard. And Praise God - it was only Forks. No trash in the mix.

The forks were only in our yard. On both sides of the driveway.

Sticking up out of the ground.
Spaced about so that they covered the smallish expanse of our yard.

Like little forkish tombstones.

Or maybe like little pikes sticking out of the ground....

My first words were, "I don't know what this is - but I rebuke it. In Jesus' name."
Remember, I was grumpy.

The Professor set to in picking up the forks immediately, which is why I have no pictures. So Mini-Me and I helped him. The Professor did tell me, later, that he was afraid someone would step on them...

We picked up roughly 52 white, plastic forks. That's an entire package. They apparently tried to stick them in the ground tine-side down, because we picked up a few that had broken tines. So most of them were implanted in the ground handle side down. It didn't take us long to pick them up.

I'm really glad, though, that they didn't use a package of forks from Sam's. They hold 200 forks.
It would have made a fantastic picture, though. Since that's where I buy my forks, if I find out who did this, I might just have to get even. Or better.

My mom thinks someone might have gotten my house mixed up with someone else's house - because, really, who would want to do that to US?

Which was my thought - we're pretty peace-loving. We don't even call the police and tattle when the neighbors are shooting illegal fireworks from 10pm - midnight!

The more I think on it the funnier it seems. Forks. I just makes me laugh.
I actually feel rather special. It's not everday I can say "We've been forked."

As my friend in Minnesota said "Stick a fork in it..."
Anyone need plastic forks?
I've got a few lying around...


Dapoppins said...

Oh, put a fork in it! Someone "forked" you? What is this, a new forking trend? I have never heard of that.

Couple weeks ago I saw eggshells in the road. Did some one egg us? No. Some polite vandel was careful to avoid all cars and homes and yards. They egged the road. At least a dozen. All over. The road.

(was was looking at that fork comment above. If you feel convicted by this comment, you can delete it. It is kind of silly, but it is a little like that banana-fanna song. Some Names you just don't sing. Sorry Bart.)

call*me*kate said...

You spoke with a forked tongue. Was there a fork in the road? It could have been worse - they could have stuck chop sticks all over your yard. Then I'd have to do Chinese jokes - and I don't know any!

How weird? I'm thinking it was a meth addict - you never know what they will do, and I know that's not funny but it's true.

Thanks for your comment about where you live. I've been through your state a few times and the most memorable moment was a hotel room with a red wall. And the tornado warning on the TV that night. Made an impression on my 10 year old mind! Yes, it's up to the Lord. He knows best. It's a good thing because I certainly don't know!


call*me*kate said...

What I meant was that it's up to the Lord if and where we move. I wish I could edit these comments!


Paula Vince said...

How bizarre. Forks! Well, at least they were easy to deal with. I found it so funny to think of you snapping at your husband, thinking there were just a few forks.
I got your comment & email. It'll be great. Emma is very excited too. And I always thought how much our two girls look alike from the moment I saw photos of your children.
I'll send an email with our postal address.

TobyBo said...

You are just going to have to have a talk with the Professor about his priorities. How on earth could he clean up such a thing without first getting a photo for your faithful readers? I am glad you reported this newsworthy event even without documentation. But, please, ask the Professor not to repeat this sort of behavior. :)

Katie said...

Hmmm, very strange!! It must have been pretty forking funny I'd say!

Melanie said...

Oh how I laughed at your "stick a fork in it". Too funny! I really wish you'd taken a picture.

Monkey Giggles said...

Would love to email you...maybe we could swap ideas on homeschooling. I love meeting homeschooling families. Homeschooling just works for our family!!! We were using Abeka...but I and the kids were getting frustrated with it. We used it for 4 to 5 years. I felt like they were "DOING SCHOOL" I wanted them to have more hands learning. I wanted the joy to return to learner. So we jumped the Abeka ship and are now using...Weaver Unit Studies for Science, History, Geo, and Bible. Saxon for Math and Lots of online resources for Lanuage, Lit, spelling. I think I covered it all.

I am in desperate need of finding a handwriting program for my 3rd grader. Any tips??

TobyBo said...

OK... I know the old VeggieTales... I guess my crew is growing up... so which one has sporks? and what do they do? I may know about Bucephalus but I don't know nothin' bout sporks...

Anonymous said...

Several decades ago when I was in highschool some of the kids would go forking! Our youth pastor was usually involved actually--either the ringleader of the forkers, or being the fork-ee.

So, maybe forking has made a comeback?

We usually would leave a gift as well, to kinda soften the annoyance of the person forked. A present (a wrapped stuffed animal, homemade cookies or something) on the porch.

Mama Bear said...

BWAHAHA! Sorry... Couldn't help it! I've never heard of such a thing!

The Family Jewels said...

Forking is quite popular around these is usually the teens that we volunteer with through Teens Encounter Christ. It is out of love for their elders for loving them. We also have some "angels" that come and write chalk messages of love on our driveway.

I have a hard time believing that it was out of spite or malice and if it were the wrong address it was probably meant out of love not to fork it to you!

Also don't be concerned if in the spring there are little marshmallow peeps stuck on the ends of the forks...then it really looks like a little cemetary.

Have a great day! -Tonia

Heffalump said...

What? Forks don't grow on trees? I wonder if they are annuals or perrenials? I hope your fork infestation doesn't return!
Thanks for the comment by the way!

The Family Jewels said...

I know someone who could use some plastic forks for a special event tomorrow! Congratulations!

Debbie said...

Here via Dapoppins.....

"My first words were, "I don't know what this is - but I rebuke it. In Jesus' name."

This made me chortle.....:D
Because it sounds so much like something I would say......

Praise and Coffee said...

LOL! That is so funny!
We were "flocked" with pink flamingos one time as a fund raiser for the football team...but forked?....nope never.

I wish you had a picture!

TobyBo said...

I just think you need to know I had to look up "emulation." :)

A&EMom said...

Look what you've started...

Now everyone's forkin' around!

Anonymous said...

This is a really cool idea! It sure added a bit of spice to your life!

Vicki said...

How'd I miss this one? OH! I SOOOO gotta share it!! Between painting a naked butt on one of the neighbor's yard Gnome's and you getting 'forked', it's making me think...Whauhaha

Anonymous said...

Well now I am intrigued. A neighbor of ours has forks(little white plastic ones) tine side up planted all over. Up her lane and on both sides of her driveway-maybe 200 or so. I googled to see if there was any info. Very strange.