How Sweet it Is

How Sweet it is to be loved by you. ^_^ The few and the faithful who continue to read this blog...


A little James Taylor:

Brain Overload....

Am I the only one whose brain shuts down protectively when there's just too much over load??

When I get stressed, I need to blow off steam for just a moment and then I'm able to cope. I really want to be able to blow steam out of my ears like the cartoon characters do when they get heated. 

Or the scene in "Real Genius" that takes place during finals week. The scene is of a study group, all in various poses with various books. One young man has had ENOUGH. He just starts to scream. He looks at several others and screams at them before running away. Another student takes his vacated seat as if frying brain circuits was normal. And in the movie school, it probably was. 


That's me. When I get into overload, there are several things I want to do.


Hide. That's a huge one. I can hide in a book. I can hide in a nap. I can hide in a Facebook. I can Hide in a video game, if I've got one. (mostly I game vicariously through the Professor's gaming)  I can hide in the plot of a work in progress. 


Lately, I've wanted to run screaming through the house, "Too many plot points and not enough brain!"


Or hide from the kids because they're all in a serious stage of bickering with each other. 


Then there's the fact that summer is coming. Do I enroll the kids in swim lessons?
Or not? We're no where near where I wanted to be in school work for this time of the year. Must be that hiding (hey, I'm honest). There's also the many times we weren't home. Or were sick. Or just not interested in school. 


Then there's the constant struggle to get (and keep) G-man on task.


The professor had such a bad day at work yesterday that he ground his teeth until one broke. 


Then there's all the other daily stuff. 


Laundry.
Kids outgrowing clothes.
House work.

Drama that happens at unscheduled moments. Seriously. I wish I had the schedule for that so I could plan the drama into my imaginary schedule. 


All that to say, I'm having a day of brain overload. 

It'll all work out okay - because ... well because it will. I still believe in God and He promised. 

Speaking of Him. 
I can't discount that he's been talking. Being easily amused, I'm glad that he talks to me in a way that I know it's Him and brings me amusement. 


I woke up one day, with an overloaded brain to the lyric, "All things are going to happen naturally"


From the Jason Mraz song ... That's all. 


So being me, I listened to the entire song. 
The entire song matters not - that one single lyric from the song was for me. 
It was my God kiss. 


I like the song - so that was an added bonus. 


But with brain overload, it has become my mantra, after a fashion. 


All things will happen naturally. 

Life Goes on ....

Life goes on -- and that's one reason blogging sounds boring...
LOL But it's worth singing about...





I love watching people enjoy themselves.

Today's a good day to smile...

Veteran's Day -

"Thank you" is never Enough.




All we've been given
By those who came before
The dream of a nation
Where freedom would endure
The work and prayers
Of centuries
Have brought us to this day

What shall be our legacy?
What will our children say?
Let them say of me
I was one who believed
In sharing the blessings
I received
Let me know in my heart
When my days are through
America
America
I gave my best to you

Each generation from the plains
To distant shore with the gifts
What they were given
Were determined
To leave more
Valiant battles fought together
acts of conscience fought alone
these are the seeds
From which America has grown

Let them say of me
I was one who believed
In sharing the blessings
I received
Let me know in my heart
When my days are through
America
America
I gave my best to you

For those who think
They have nothing to share
Who fear in their hearts
There is no hero there
Know each quiet act
Of dignity is
That which fortifies
The soul of a nation
That never dies

Let them say of me
I was one who believed
In sharing the blessings
I received
Let me know in my heart
When my days are through
America
America
I gave my best to you

Captivated...

I had this song in my heart when I woke up this morning...

The line that kept repeating was "I am captivated by you ...."

When I hear a song come to me this way, I know God's talking to me. 

Laying  in the covers I thought, I am captivated. But really -- I knew that He was singing to me. It was a little difficult to accept.


I know where my faults lie.
I know my selfishness.
I know my sin.


Yet He's telling me, "I am captivated by you."


It's hard to think that He's looking past the sin, selfishness and faults to find the good.
He's looking at the personality. The heart for worship. He knows that I find it difficult to understand that He is pleased with me - and yet He tells me so. When He talks He speaks my language so why is it so difficult to receive His pleasure.


I get too focused on the bad stuff that I know of....and He sees my heart. He sees the blood shed for me. So really - He sees Jesus. 


So I hear Him sing to me and can do nothing else but turn it around in worship.







 

shampoo solo

I sort of have this problem.
Okay. Not really a PROBLEM, per se.

Maybe it's an issue.
Maybe it's a quirk.

either way - it's about to become your problem, too.
Or not. You could be better at this than I am.

Lovely big bottle - cheap price

I use Tresseme shampoo for my colored hair.
I love the cost and really, its smells pretty good for shampoo.
At least it doesn't smell clinical.

Don't you hate that?
I hate bathroom soaps that smell like .... well....medicine. Or soap.
Seriously. I have my hands up to my face often. Brushing my hair back, rubbing my eyes, pressing the temples against the headache.. See?? See my point??

What was my point?
Oh, yeah.
Smells can be important.

I can understand how this might be just a ComfyDenim issue.

I had a very musically eclectic upbringing.
I had a grandmother taking me to see chamber quartets. I loved it. Don't get me wrong. And the occasional stage production.

My dad was forever listening to the 60's.

My mom was listening to the 50's AND the 60's when she wasn't listening to the Big Band stuff from the 40's. We randomly belt out Roy Orbison songs.

My Grandmother would sing and I'd play the piano to the Big Band music stuff.
All in all, have exposure to all the varied types of music is good.
Just ... some times the results of this upbringing are unexpected.

Like the shampoo.

I look at that name. .... and I sing.

Honestly.

I do.



And now maybe you will, too.

Looking for this song, I had a chuckle. The Beatles sang it, too.
EVERYONE has sung this song..

If I have nothing else to sing about -- my shampoo bottle asks for a solo.
It's big enough. It does the job of cleaning my hair AND protecting my color.
I guess it deserves one.

I see this.....

As hope ....

Check it...

Check the flowers in the back seat of Mary Mary's car. 

And then get your groove on.... 

Yellow in a Tree

My understanding of "yellow" began way back ....Wow. WAAAAAY back in April of '09. Here, if you don't have a "Wayback machine" (I've heard they're hard to find) -- You can visit the first post here.


Well...it's been a continuing learning experience.
I've seen someone who needs hope receive a yellow scarf.
I get a smile everytime I see yellow.

And sometimes..God gives me a yellow kiss.

Sunday night in our little church, through a prophet in the room, God singled out a few people in attendance but then said this is for everyone.

He then said "Hope deferred makes the heart sick. Hope deferred makes the heart sick! I am going to give you all a new infusion of hope."

Well, I loved this. When you're going through a hard season, you need hope in order to be able to press through the chasm between the rock and the hard place. I knew I needed hope.

I woke up on Monday morning I woke up with the chorus "Tie a yellow ribbon 'round the old oak tree...." in my head. Mostly whenever that happens, that I wake up with a song in my head, it's God. So I thought. "Cool. I like that song." followed by something along the lines of "Weird, God." I didn't really think too much more about it. Except to come back and remember that I'd woken up with that really random song playing in my head. Tuesday I was still thinking about it.

It had my attention. Then I remembered. Yellow is the color for hope. Well. Awesome. How about that??

Wednesday, it still had my attention so I turned on YouTube and looked for the song and played it.
The song is about a man "who's done his time" in prison and it's "been three long years".
Three long years got my attention. For us, here in our laundry pile, it's been three long years.

Of course, you know the story in the song. If you don't - never fear. I'm giving you a link. The crux of it is, he's (the singer) wanting to know if his girl will still "be mine". He's willing to "Stay on the bus, forget about us" if she doesn't tie a yellow ribbon 'round the old oak tree. I got to thinking about the story, how God put the song in my heart, the lyrics of being free after three long years and suddenly I wanted to tie a yellow ribbon around our oak tree in the front yard.



Problem was, I didn't have ribbon.
Then I remembered I had string. The boys had made spiderwebs all over the house with all my yarn, but there was still a blob of yellow.

So we hung yarn trailers here and there on the branches. BUT ... I wanted to do more. Melody and I made paper chains and hung them. I made circles to hang from the bottom branches under the tree canopy. The neighbor kids came to ask what we were doing so I told them:

Well - yellow is the color of hope and I decided we needed some more Yellow!!

Last night, I bought more yellow construction paper. This morning I received a phone call. Someone I know, love and Trust said, "Don't you see? God was asking you 'Do you still want me?!' and you responded and then you responded more."

Last night I had a dream there was frost on the ground she said, "That wasn't frost!! That was MANNA!!"

Squeeeee!!!

There were other things in my dream that made me discount it - but now -- now I just want to hang more yellow stuff. That paper I boght last night?? It will be put to good use!!!

It's been three long years - God still loves me. (Pictures at the bottom!)

If you want to sing along:

Our oak tree in the front yard

Festooned with yellow!

Tried to get all sides of the tree before we ran out of paper ...

I like the contrast!

Under the canopy of the tree, I thought that it would be fun to hang ornaments. so I made my own.

It really made me happy!

We had a Breeze!!!! it was 110degrees but we had a breeze!!!

Yellow on a tree

And that's one more lesson in Yellow.
I've never had a favorite color - there's just too many to choose from.

but I'm reconsidering it.

La-la-la-la

He Never Lets Go

I realize our struggles may not seem like much in the big scheme of life.

We have not had to bury a loved one before it was their time to go.
We have not been persecuted for our faith.
The Professor still has a job.
However, our struggles and our trials are just as real and affect us just as intensely.

We have been under attack since we celebrated Passover.
It's been one struggle after another.

Even though The Professor has a job, his supervisor is actively working to torment him. It's like watching Potiphar's wife wrongly accuse Joseph. (Yes. I can use that analogy because I KNOW my husband is a "Joseph" in his field.)

We've watched our cost of living expenses grow and them tell us that they can't give us pay raises because of the unstable economy. (they are making money.)

We've found ourselves severely isolated.

and growing more so. It's hard not to become insular when the world seems to be ignoring you.

I've had to battle for my thoughts like I've never had to fight before...
I've felt like the ground was shifting under my feet.
It feels like I'm going backward and having to fight things that are supposed to be dead.
Stress has been hard on our family.
Relationally.

It's been hard because I KNOW that we are Kingdom People.
With a King that has a very stable economy.
Yet. He seems very silent of late.

I had started dreaming again - and now it feels like I'm back on the shelf. With dormant or dead dreams.
Waiting.
Waiting.
Waiting.
Forgotten.

Again, I utter my disclaimer, Our struggles may not be considered huge to someone looking in...and that's fine. They are our struggles.

There's more...I could go on...but I won't. This season, since Passover,  is why the blog has been so very quiet. Writing, my best outlet, has been hard. Difficult to the point that It feels like a dying dream. Like my other dreams. It has been a struggle and I am weary.


Yesterday, I woke up with the chorus in my head "Oh, no - you never let go. Through the calm and through the storm..." "....You never let go of me"

So when I heard a song again - after weeks of silence - I appreciated it. I tipped my heart in, but refused to allow myself to go fully into the moment.

I am raw.

Last night was the celebration for the End of AWANA at our Wednesday night church. The kids have worked so hard on their books. Mostly by themselves - and they earned their badges.

What song do they sing as one of the three songs for worship before the ceremony?
The song that was whispered to me that morning.

I am so glad to hear it....So glad to have AbbaDaddy tell me, He never let go. Even though it felt like He had.




The struggles aren't over...Far from it.
It's nice to have a Kiss in the midst of it.

Get back up again..

I'm so glad it's never too late to get back up again....

Thank you is never enough...

One things leads to another around here...

I've been curious all of my life.
Growing up, I was constantly told - "Curiosity killed the cat".

I realize there is a fine line between curious and nosy. Don't get me wrong ... and often those two adjectives intersect. I've always been a people watcher, too. So they intersect often.

Having the kids ask me questions - sometimes constantly - I'm more than happy to feed their curiosity.
Most of the time. Sometimes, Kids are just kids and tend to have really bad timing. I don't want to talk about rat snakes during the dinner table.

Then I read this today....A blog I found out about through The Gang's Mom
In this blog post - he talks about the death of curiosity.
It's a short read - go check it out. I'll wait.


*hums to self*

Told you it was short. But it was powerful. At least to me.

So many times we can inadvertantly kill the curiosity of a child.
So many times - we can kill our own.
We get too busy. Too hectic.
I can speak for myself -- writing, laundry, kids, school, family, dog, laundry....it can all lead to dampen the curiosity.

After reading Pete Wilson's post I pondered it for a while.

Like anything else around here - A song came to mind...
It was written for her daughters - but really, it applies to us all.

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder ...

Beautiful

Lucky

I will lift my voice...

Some songs drift into my head quietly...and linger.
Others jump in and refuse to leave.

This is one that jumped.
it jumped hard.



I will lift my voice...

Mood Ring Exploded...

Have you ever had one of those days where you think your mood ring (if you wore one) would explode?
I have high highs and low lows. David had the same kind of thing. The only way to turn it around is to change the way you think -- but in the depths of the low,
all the bushes around you contain contain an enemy.

Ninjas ready to strike.

When I'm in one of those moods - I also tend to be desirous to rant about the things that I wanted to rant about before.

Like people who made no effort to communicate with me (even though I tried) -- and yet still want to pretend there's a relationship. I actually have an easier time communicating with people who didn't pretend there was a relationship, than I do with those that did. (I know it's because I was more emotionally invested in the relationship. And therefore more let down when it was one sided.)

or the one constant -- I don't like fake people. They make me twitchy.

or that time  --- when that thing -- and ... yeah, you see where I'm going with this.

It can be an interesting ride.  It's probably a good thing I don't have a mood ring.

When these moods strike- platitudes are my enemy. The disdain I have for them is enormous. Grate on my teeth kind of annoyance.

Generally speaking, I am fairly optimistic, easy-going, kind of person. (note that I did not say stress free)
but there are just times -- when the glass is half empty.
or - horror of horrors - just a glass.

Coming out of a low place, though - makes me cherish and relish life and the randomness that God has given me.

I can completely relate to David's psalms..going from one extreme thought (They're coming to get me) to the other (he puts my enemies at my feet) ... You know what?? I enjoy that God knows where I am even in the lowest of the low places. Especially when they feel so damn solitary.

I'm a WYSIWYG person. What you see is what you get. Which includes the random blog post from somewhere lower than a high place...

Even so - I know.....

I KNOW -

there WILL be something beautiful come from it.

My Entry...

Our church has had several of us write about God's love for a 30 day devotional. I was supposed to write on for December 27th. At least, I think I was supposed to write one. I sort of half forgot. Which means, I sort of remembered but thought I had the wrong day. Again.

It was difficult to sit and think about the love of God. Honestly. I KNOW He loves me...that can not be denied. I. Just. Know. I feel Him...even in the oddest of times. Especially then, I guess I should say...

but Christmas was not exactly fun around here.
But my entry went with the song I posted yesterday.
So I thought I'd share it with you. ...

---------------------

Thinking about the love of God today. AFTER Christmas is over and done with, sounded a lot easier than trying to think about it DURING the holiday. Plumbing issues. Heater issues. Financial issues. Children issues. Not being able to have Christmas as we planned because my parents couldn't get to my house. I prayed hard to keep the family healthy for Christmas just to have sleet??

Bummer.
I definitely wasn't having a "Norman Rockwell" of a weekend.

It's only been today (Sunday) that things have leveled out. I tell you this to let you know - while I have JOY, life is not always peaches. Though, I wish it had been. What a weekend for things to be lousy.

Today, I was pondering -- "NOW - after all that - I have to write about God's love?"
I never doubt that He loves me - though sometimes I think He has a funny way of showing it.

As I'm asking Him about what and how -- but mostly WHAT -- to write, this song comes to mind.

"When I think about the Lord...."
Here's a link, if you want to listen to it.
SONG or you can check out the previous post.

The lyrics say:
When I Think about the Lord,
How He saved me, how He raised me,
how He filled me, with the Holy Ghost.
How He healed me, to the uttermost.

When I Think about the Lord,
how He picked me up and turned me around,
how He placed my feet on solid ground

Chorus*
It makes me wanna shout,
Hallelujah,
Thank you JESUS,
LORD, your worthy, of all the glory, and all the honor,
and all the praise... (Repeat*)

I love this song.
Even in the midst of the WHATEVERS of life - when we stop to think about the Lord..
our hearts turn toward love for Him.
We can't help but want to shout!

And as we stop and think, we start to realize (We look again!) and see just how much He's loved on us, even in the midst of the ... whatever.

For us - one of the God kisses evident was that when the outside fan on the heater blew its motor (Because of the icicles from the sleet), our emergency heat pump was able to pick up the slack - so we didn't freeze. It's still going to cost nearly $400 to fix - but God will supply our need....even if he has to pay off the MasterCard instead of the fix-it guy.

This song was my evident love from Him today...
because I desperately needed Him to sing over me.

May He sing over you a song for your heart.

He loves us so!

Christmas is coming!

Christmas is coming! Christmas is coming!!!
But I bet you already knew that.

Every day, the question is asked, "How long until Christmas?"
To J-man I tell him "Soon". He still doesn't understand the concept of "days/nights".

The bigger kids will immediately go to the calendar and count the days.
Or, in Mini-Me's case, just do the math.

I'm glad that it's coming. Honest.
But I don't necessarily feel all the chaos that goes with it. So this blog post might actually start to sound like a Christmas confessional.

I don't have any desire to sing Christmas songs - aside from the occasional "rudolph" because the clock sings it.

We were crazy busy right up to Thanksgiving. Part of it was that I was writing for the entire month. We were sick for about a week before. I didn't feel the urge to decorate. I still don't.
Once I get it up it feels like it's got to come right back down.

I have had more fun buying Christmas gifts, though. That has been a surprise. It hasn't been too difficult to buy for the kids. Mini-E, or Bubbles, Tells me she wants a princess, a cat toy and a mumble mumble toy. She wants two of those.

Part of my lack of enthusiasm comes from the crazy way life is swirling around. Stress at the professor's work. LOTS Of it. Eeking it's way home.
We're on a Constant busy here. And we don't go many places! It nearly seems unfair.
The dog. Don't get me started on the dog.
Did I tell you I had to take the hamster to the vet??

THE HAMSTER. Sigh.

I have joy unmeasurable, but not in decorating for Christmas.

The presents are on top of the piano. Waiting for the great unwrapping. There are no lights up anywhere...well, other than the lights that came with the house. And I'm okay with that.

Maybe this year, with only 11 days to go until Christmas, we'll keep things simple.

There's always next year. (insert gales of laughter here) Maybe next year we'll decorate when the stores do. November 1.