Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Crossing Over...

I think I'm finally crossing over to the otherside. The last few weeks have been filled with battles that I haven't faced in MONTHS.

I heard Beth Moore, in person, many months ago. She had prayed and asked God for a specific message for the specific conference of which I was in attendance. She had them put it up on the big - jumbo sized - Screen for all to see.

"You don't trust me in this."

But what I saw was "You Don't Trust Me." It quickened in my spirit and I realized that all my struggles about the season of life, about homeschooling, all the inadequacies I'd felt - all stemmed from a lack of trust. A lack of trust in the One Person who could get me through. How silly was that?

But it was true. After the end of the conference, I had a weapon to fight the battles. I was ready to face the school year, ready to face all those emotions - and they didn't come. Because I was ready. I had fought. I had the victory. I was an over comer!!

Until now.

Well, I'm still in victory, I'm still an over comer - but I started struggling with things I thought were dead. I started rehashing emotions that I thought were done away with. I've begun to read many things through my in-box that will help me keep getting the word in me - and as I was struggling with this new series of old hassles, the Holy Spirit kept reminding me of something I'd read. It was from an e-mail sent by the Spirit of Prophecy Bulletin.

Now understand, I read some of these and think, "Wow, God. Is that one for me?" Sometimes I'm just blessed and reminded at how much God loves me. This time, I had read the bulletin and forgot about it - but in the midst of the emotional struggles I face it kept popping back to mind. The First Sentence said:

Watch for the enemy to test you again in old places of defeat, which have recently become places of victory.

When I read it again, it sunk in.

That's why it was all very familiar -- all the struggles, the frustrations, the emotions. After I identified what was going on I wasn't sure what to do. I felt like I had already lost so much ground. I had really given in to feelings of being forsaken, that my prayers were not reaching past the ceiling -- it was odd. So how do I get past all this? It was at the conference that God shouted at me through a jumbo-tron...

Church last Wednesday. The Pastor was teaching about the sufficiency of Grace. God gives us grace to go through the trials and circumstances of every day life. Pastor said, Sometimes He won't pull us directly out of the situation, sometimes He wants us to grow through the situation.

"He's more interested in developing your character, than He is in your deliverance."

NOT what I wanted to hear. I wanted a quick deliverance. I wanted this attack of the negative to be vanquished immediately.

Yes. I want to be spoiled. I don't want to go through anything..especially NOW. But it seems I'm going to - wellllll....

I guess I don't HAVE to - but really, not going through isn't an options. I know what lies behind. I don't like it. So I press on.

Pastor said, sometimes after "you've done all - to stand" and then he said "Sometimes you just feel like you're standing and standing."

So he gave us somethings to do while we stand.
It has taken me 3 days to post this --- so let me share the things to do while standing...
He prefaced his list by stating that "The enemy loves for trials to last a very long time - because he can get The Word out of us. He wants us to give up."

Press in harder than you've ever pressed on before. God intends for us to grow while we stand. Not just stand while we stand.

1. Rediscover God's Word. -- We tend to get away from God's word during trials...we need to get into it more than ever.

2. Have a prayer partner - a faith friend. Some one you can call on for prayer. He said, not just someone who will agree with you or grumble with you - but someone who will pray and agree scripturally.

3. Find good meetings and go and listen. If your church isn't meeting, find one that is.

4. Remember & be thankful for God's blessings & Grace. Remember all that God's blessings have brought you in the past - remember all that God has done in the past. Make a list - it won't be long before you're shouting 'Hallelujah'!

5. Pray the Word
Pray in the Spirit

6. Guard your thought life - watch your confessions of Faith

7. Refuse any and all offenses at this time - especially taking on the offenses of others.

8. Read & review timely prophesies given over you.

9. Read & Review tstimonies of others that have had the same situations and struggles as you. Sometimes we think we're the only ones facing a situation...but we're not.

10. Worship MORE

11. The enemy tells you to stop giving - so increase your giving.

12. Witness more for Jesus.

13. Give your testimony of what God has done/saved you from in the past.

14. Plan now to use this upcoming victory as a testimony.

The more I think on these things and follow through with them, the more I see forward motions.

The one thing that hit me tonight, though, in all of it - laying down my rights.
Quick!! Get the bandaids!!

Laying down my rights in those areas that I'm struggling in --
I have to lay down my rights .. I think the list would be too long here...

This is what I'm learning right now in the Laundry Pile School of all Things.
It may not be pretty -- but hopefully, when all is said and done, there will be fruit to show for it.


Halfmoon Girl said...

Thanks for writing this post. I too am struggling in the midst of a situation I just want to be delivered from! These were encouraging words to me. I will hold you up in prayer.

ThoughtfulMom said...

Yeah - sounds like my week, too.

Nothing like learning the same lessons again.

Patriot said...

I think every single one of us struggles with this in some way during periods of our lives. Thanks for the encouragement!

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Charity said...

I've been reading your blog feed for a while now, but I'm not sure if I have ever commented, so "hi."

I just wanted to thank you for posting this. This is just so applicable to my life right now.

Mrs. Darling said...

This is life; we somehow never seem to learn. Thankfully God is patient.

Classic MaMa said...

When my Mom first became a Christian, she asked the Lord one night to completely change her heart. She said, in a very childlike way, "Ok Lord, I'm going to sleep now and when I wake up I just want none of my flesh, but all of you." She heard the still small voice of the Spirit say, "Nope. You've gotta be up for this operation."

I always remember this, especially at the times when my flesh rises up and want to just let all my anger out on whoever is nearby. There are so many times when I want a quick fix to all my emotions, because I seem to have so many, much more than a normal person :)

Process. Maturity. Sanctification. These are scary words.

Regina said...

Being in Christ is an everyday struggle, with good and bad days! We sometimes forget that if it was so easy everyone would be doing it! Thank you for sharing your spirit with others. May God continue to bless and protect you in your times of trial.
Don't forget we have to go through the fire in order to come out GOLD!

TobyBo said...

great list, I am glad you shared it.

My dd agrees with you about the banana and sausage combination. She even accompanied it with a Valley Girl finger in her throat motion. I hope there are no smilies that do that.

TobyBo said...

oh and I wanted to add one thing about trust. When Miss Language was about 9 months old I started to wonder why she did not yet trust me to feed her when she needed it even though I had faithfully fed her for months on end. Then I realized I've had a lot longer with God and a lot more learning opportunities but still had not mastered the point.

The Gang's All Here! said...

Wow, thank you for this post. It moved me more than you can know. Thank you for your eloquency and honesty.

I'm smack in the middle of one of the hardest seasons I can ever remember. I'm tired, I'm angry, I'm hurt and I'm confused. And I'm thankful for the honesty here. I haven't been this honest with myself consistently enough. I haven't turned to the tools I "KNOW" I have, the ones I tell my kids about everyday.

Thank you for the reminder of all I have at my disposal to walk with my Savior and Father through this.

Wabi Sabi Me said...

Ditto. And from the other comments, this appears to be a season inwhich a lot of us are struggling.

So, since we are surrounded by this great cloud of witnesses, I choose to be encouraged!

Lifting you all up in prayer and pressing on...

Debbie said...

While reading this post and the comments, I was reminded of something my former pastor once brought to my attention. It was a story involving a cocoon and the struggle that takes place before a beautiful butterfly emerges.......

Dapoppins said...

great are such an inspiring fighter...!

jugglingpaynes said...

If we were statues, it would be so easy to be perfect. But statues are so easily toppled. Better to be a tree. A nice strong tree with deep roots in your faith and your crown reaching to heaven. You are learning such valuable lessons.

Peace and Laughter,

appleleaf said...

What a great list for victory!
I'm sure Satan knows that the battles we've overcome once are far harder the 2nd time because of all the extra discouragement and fatigue. But you've got it! When we're aware of his ploys, he doesn't stand a chance.
BTW I recently bought a book by Beth Moore. Sounds like that must've been an interesting and convicting conference.

Our Peculiar Life said...

Hallelujah!!! I am going to copy this post and put it in my "read when I am having problems" folder. :-) Okay, I will have to make that folder, but this makes a great first item. Love ya!