Friday, May 27, 2011

The Angst of a Seven-year-old

Sometimes I wonder about my kids. I wonder if I've broken them.
I wonder if I play with them enough. Or interact with them enough. 
If I nurture them enough.

Then there are the times when I just wonder what I did to deserve it....

You know...that average mom stuff. 

Today, in a random sort of way, G-man started talking about how old everyone will be in a decade. First of all, it's nice to know that he's paying attention to SOMETHING.
but sometimes I have to wonder (There I go again) about his timing.

He mentioned that he'd be nearly 21 in a decade. 

Which made me feel VERY old. I mean, hypothetically speaking. In the future. In a decade. I'll be nearly 48. 

So I mentioned to the kids that while a decade might seem to go by really quickly, let's enjoy one year, one day, one moment at a time.

Mostly because I wasn't ready to talk about things that might happen in a decade. 

Was that to happen??? 
OH, Nooooo! It was not to be.

J-man started to cry.
Actual tears.
Who knew that talking about things a decade away would bring tears. I mean, besides my own.

J-man focused on the fact that G-man would be an adult. I tried to assuage his fear. "Most guys really aren't grown up until about 25."

He didn't want to hear that EITHER. 
I can't win. 

So that was the beginning. He didn't want G-man to move away. He wanted to keep his friend close at hand.

From there he started talking about his own children.
Just so you remember....J-man is 7. 
"When I have kids, I'm going to encourage them to make up their own games. Like I do."
(Which is -- he'll encourage them to use their imaginations)

And "I'll play with my kids when they're lonely."

I looked at him. "Are you lonely?"

He got teary eyed again. 

Then I got to listen to more plans about his own kids. And how he planned to parent them. 
He's left me wondering about me. 
Does he find me deficient? 

I must be doing SOMETHING right, though.
I mean....he's at least PLANNING to have children in the future. 
That's gotta count for something. Somewhere.


TobyBo said...

Ah, my Mr Music is the sentimental one here. He has told me for many years that he is growing up too fast. And he also plans to have children, but it is his plan to adopt, not from following our example, but because the biological end of parenting does not appeal to him. I am perfectly fine with that opinion continuing right up till he says "I do."

and you are *no* "average mom." You are an amazing mom.

Mother Mayhem said...

In a decade, I'll be 55. Sweetums will be 25. WAH!

The Old Gray Mare said...

A decade will pass in a blink, and you will be where I am now. I believe you are right when you say most guys aren't grownups until they're 25.

I felt inadequate then, & I still feel inadequate now. Cheery little thought for you. ;o)

jugglingpaynes said...

Sierra has felt the same way about the thought of Marina leaving, and Marina is three years away from 21. Marina has no plans to leave the nest right now, but I've warned her that if she ever marries, her husband may need to agree to take in Sierra. Maybe I should worry that she finds ME deficient since she would rather live with her big sister. :o)

Peace and Laughter,