Saturday, November 28, 2009

I am a writer...

It's become more and more evident.
This mom is a writer. I always wanted to be. But never thought it would matter.

Somewhere deep inside there's that voice that tells you if you're not published, you're not a writer.
This is no longer the case for me.

I'm a writer. It's not all I am. I'm a singer. A worshipper. A dancer. A mom. A Wife.

but it's fun to think that if someone asks what I do -- I can tell them, "I write."

It really became clear that I should and could make this distinction when I finished my NaNoWriMo novel. I did. I wrote the final scene (first draft) (First drafts suck) the night before Thanksgiving. I was really quite glad for the hubbub of Thanksgiving. We had so much fun!!!

BUT -- the next day. The Friday after.
There was a funk.

It's much like the "After Christmas blues" I would get when I was a teenager. I loved Christmas. I loved the build up. The decorating. The anticipation. The joy. The music. That's changed as I've gotten older and a bit more disillusioned, I'm afraid to admit.

After Christmas was over and done with came the blues. The feeling of "now what?"

That's how it's been both times I've finished my manuscripts. The sudden -- "Now What?" of my brain. The sudden fact that I had nothing pressing on my thoughts. During the writing process I was always plotting. If not plotting then my characters were somewhere in my brain. Talking to me. Telling me how to handle the next scene.

There will be rewrites, of course, but you can't do that when you're in the "Now What?" stage of the process. Being in this stage of the process is also a very bad time to have someone lamblast your writing. Even though I know it's all part of the process. It's still not good on the "after book funk". Or would it be the "Post-novel blues"?

Either way, it's confirmed to me that I'm a writer.
It's good to have this process ... to be able to look at it and recognize it as such.
Moving on is important for the next phase or the next novel.
One day I'll learn what to do after the novel is finished.
Because I hope there will be many more in my future.
There has to be, because I'm a writer.

3 comments:

jugglingpaynes said...

Finish those rewrites, missy! We can't read it if it's just a draft. And a writer writes to be read!

And congratulations! That's very impressive. I'm more of a short story writer and poet. I can't really stretch out a plot past 10 pages.

Remember, use your plotting for good! :o)

Peace and Laughter,
Cristina

TobyBo said...

so, do we all get to read it?

rolandclarke.com said...

Few years on from your achievement but gratz.

Did NaNoWriMo for first time in 2011 and a wild ride but great feeling to finish. Sense of achievement like no other - but never had kids so......

Savour that THE END moment whenever it comes as you are among the minority who actually finish even a first draft.

Maybe reaching level 75 is similar but I don't know ;-)