I keep falling in love

We are a quirky couple, The Professor and I.

I admit it. It's hard not to miss. He dresses like Dilbert and I'm borderline hippie in my jeans and t-shirts. If Flip-flops didn't hurt my feet so, I'd wear them.

But as odd as we are -- we are perfect for each other.

When I can not believe in myself - He does.

When He is stressed about work - I get stressed, too, but I do try to show him where the glass is still half full.

A good visual for us would be balloon weights and helium-filled balloons.
He holds me down - and still lets me soar.

I love him.

We've been married for 12 years.

And I've been thinking it was 11 years....because I didn't bother to do the math. Just went with a number. He never said anything. Math genius that he is, he never rubbed it in. Because he knew I'd figure it out. Eventually.

We traded DVD sets for gifts - because none of our TV channels are coming in.
I gave him Firefly and CSI:NY.
He gave me Burn Notice and Animaniacs Season 2.

Sigh.

I heart him.


Sometimes, I feel like we've achieved the status of "old married couple" because we often go our separate ways around the house. But really - it's because we make such a good team.

I keep falling in love. :-) And I like that.

That makes sense - sort of.

We went to a sprinkler park yesterday and had a good deal of fun with some very good friends.

We had to leave because I saw the makings of two huge melt-downs coming and I wanted to beat the wave.

I barely made it.

In the van, J-man started whining. "When am I going to get to go on a sleep over with Grammas?"

"Haven't you had one?" I couldn't remember. Mom occasionally takes the kids for a sleep over. Usually taking one kid at a time. She took all three of the older kids the last time J-man got to go and he whined, "Not by myself."

of course, I can adequately describe the length of these words in type as they were spoken in whine. Too many letters....

I told him that I didn't know. It was up to Grammas but I would call her and ask.

He got quiet for a minute and then asked, "Can I watch Poke-a-mon* while I'm there?"

"No," says I a bit distracted by traffic and the fact that he would even ask that. "I don't like that show."

"I'll be the only one there. Please can I watch it? It's just like Sonic."

So I quickly and concisely pointed out that the shows were completely different and that I was the guardian of his eye/ear gates and I didn't want him watching that show. I didn't care who was there.

"oh."

... ( you know something's coming. I knew something was coming. )

"can I watch the news? while I'm there?"

"Why in the world would you want to watch the news? I guess you can watch the news. I don't think you'll like it"

He assured me, "I like the news. I've gotten used to boring stuff."

...

.....

.......

I laughed and laughed....and am still laughing.

So sorry that he's gotten used to "boring stuff" -- we don't watch the news around here because I yell back at the TV because I get tired of being lied to. So - I'm not sure where he got that one...

it's still good stuff.

even if it's boring.

* I spelled it wrong on purpose.

A little bit goes a long way..

Bubbles is adorable.
She's cute with a capital -UTE.

She's also in a very hard season. Some attribute that to her 3.5 years of age.
I attribute it to her World-Changer calling.
After all, Her name means victorious ruler of all.

My job is trying to train her to know that means spirit realm - not family realm.

Saturday night we were worshiping and praising God at church -- and I could. not. stand. His presence was so strong. I'm face down on the carpet when Bubbles came up with a plate full of strawberries and sat down next to me.

"Why you cryin'?"

I think I told her it was the presence of God - It was Jesus.

She patted my shoulder ... "Jesus love you?"

I nodded and said, "Yeah, Jesus loves me."

She patted my shoulder again -- "My Jesus loves you."

~~Insert giggle of glee here. ~~

She said it.

"MY JESUS"

Oh, my gosh!!!

Just seeing a glimpse that God is at work in the hearts of my kids.
A little bit goes a very long way to this mom's heart.

"My children shall be taught of the Lord and great will be their peace and undisturbed composure." Is. 54:13

Things are looking up....

I am what-you-see-is-what-you-get sort of gal and I gotta tell ya, things have not been easy around the Laundry Pile.

The past two months have been CRAZY........Taking much more emotional and mental energy than I had reserves for...

The emotions, the mind, the sanctified soul in me (and all of us) is where the enemy likes to attack. It's his preferred method of attacking. (Always know your enemy.)

The bickering of the children.
The desire of one to be alone.
The desire of one to be in control.
The, I guess, pre-teen angst of another.
Long hours and stress of the Professor ...

It all became ammunition to be used against me.
I'm failing.
I've broken the children.
Are we EVER going to have more than enough - like God promised?
Will I ever get this done? or that??
The house is crowded!!!
I had four kids??? What was I thinking??
I love them - don't misunderstand -- each and every one is unique and our family would not be complete with out each one. That said, they have required more WORK than necessary lately.

Mix all that in with this DIVINE desire inside of me -- and ... it was a hard month. It was a hard two months.

During church one night, the Lord showed me how I was being buffeted by wave after wave - like standing in the sea. In the midst of the struggles of the past few months, I cried out and I whined and I tried to gain undestanding. I worshipped (not enough) and I poured out my heart to Him. So I thought, when I first saw the vision of being buffeted by waves that, I would be in the natural - and I thought I was standing on the sand.

I questioned my faith. I questioned the call I have. I questioned God's sanity (yes, I did!) and told Him so.

But Holy Spirit shifted my vision and showed me that I was, indeed, standing on The Rock. I may not have seen the rock with my natural eyes because of all the waves - but He showed me how, by running to God with every problem, with every whine, with every thing, that my faith was intact. Standing on the rock.

I was moved with gratefulness to see me as God sees me.

I fight the fight with the weapons I know.
I combat the thoughts and take them captive, but sometimes, when the waves are coming so fast, you get water in the face. Eyes. Ears. Mouth.

Some of the waves crashing around me are about me.
I'm called to be mommy and wife - but inside of me is a Divine calling.
Sometimes, I struggle with that knowledge when I'm struggling with the daily stuff of life.

the waves said, "You'll never make it."
"You'll be 90." "You're gonna miss it"
"Your kids will see it but you won't"

I would fight like I knew how.
Abraham never saw his promise but never lost his faith.
I'm young at heart.
God has Promised and is faithful to complete that which He started in me.
I am more than a conqueror in Christ Jesus.

I realize that part of the issue, the growing part of it, is making sure I have joy in the now
-- but at the same time, it's been a struggle to not become apathetic (or consider myself apathetic) to the nature of the Divine.

It's been a struggle to not feel like I'm becoming stagnant. Feelings are such sanctified liars.
But in the midst of it, I started noticing something.

I started to feel different.
I have a different attitude.
I have a different mindset. (even if it is being changed)
Others may not see it.
I still may have bad days when the waves are high -- but inside, I can feel the difference.

I feel this stirring deep within me.
I'm hoping that the home life will be different.

Since I blog about the daily and the divine here, I'm going to change my blog up --
Because, even as I homeschool. As I mother. As I write. As I wife. As I throw balls for the dog. As I try not to take it personally when the kids bicker. As I learn to play the guitar. As I juggle priorities. ...

There is a desire to seek The Divine in the midst of the daily.

The Lyrics Grabbed me...

I'm in a seriously romantic mood.
Yearning for the romance of life.
Knowing that I am in a Divine Romance with Jesus ...

I heard this song on the radio on my way home from the store that shall not be named.

It grabbed my attention.
The Divine Romance in the song is .... is ..... lyrical.

No pun intended....although, it's a good one.

God so wants to romance us.

What's a Blogger to do?

What IS a blogger to do when there's nothing GOOD to report??

~The kids are bickering. Seriously. I'll be glad when this phase is over.
I haven't quite figured out what's going on. I mean, besides sibling power trips. *eye roll*
I wish I had something FUNNY to blog about as a result of the bickering, but, alas. I don't.

~ Finances are not a happy topic around here.
We look at each other and frown. Then one of us has to make the choice.
The Choice to say: It's grim. It's down. But Our God will supply! The riches of the wicked are set apart for the righteous.
That can be a hard choice, I must say.
Especially if there are too many people around you who are so GRIM about it!!
I refuse to get back into a poverty spirit.

Someone said that if you look at that bill and start fretting over it - then the bill is bigger than God. I loved that. There's no piece of paper that is bigger than my God.

~ The professor broke a tooth. He thinks it happened last week. He started having major headaches. MAJOR. He attributed it to the stress at work and clenching his jaw. I went to the movies Tuesday night and came home with pop corn for him. He got up quickly at one point and said, "Great, I've got something stuck in my teeth". Then he came back and said, "Nothing in my teeth but something broke off."

He went to the dentist today. $600 later - he's had a root canal and a crown. The x-ray showed the break, down the center of the tooth exposing the nerve. I shudder to think....

*shudder*

Hopefully this will fix the headaches, too.

~ My original plans for summer were swim lessons, math, and maybe some small study stuff that I won't be able to accomplish over the normal school year. So far, I've only accomplished swim lessons. I've got the kids doing math today. It's taken them FOREVER to accomplish the tasks at hand. Things will have to change greatly when school starts back up. Especially if I'm going to have 4 students to teach.

*wow*

I am SO not sure how I'm going to make that one happen.
I'm starting to pray about it now. LOL
A friend has suggested school -- but I have a check in my Spirit about that.
So we'll proceed - full speed ahead!!

I really need to change my perspective, too. This is all practice for the future, I'm sure.

~ The professor turned 40. He's been getting gifts off and on all month.
He needed a new mouse for his games.
He wanted some new games. So that's what he got...
One of the games he received was "Warcraft". NOT the online version as The Professor is a solo player. But the orc on the box is a bit -- ugly.

The professor wanted to go out to eat on his birthday.
On the way home, J-man asked him, "Are you going to go home and play your creepy looking game?"

We had to laugh.

~ I had a fight with a friend who called me judgmental.
I'm not -- and the fact that she even suggested it really hurt my feelings.
So I was in a funk most of yesterday.
The funk didn't help the fact that I was already feeling behind on life.
It didn't help that I'm still trying to catch up on ignoring the laundry for 2 weeks. LOL

~ Even in the midst of life --
God is GOOD!!
He is still on the throne.
He Still loves me.
There is no shadow of turning with Him.

What's funny - this morning I woke up with a song in my heart.
Not a worship song....but a song just for me.
Zeph. 3:17 says: The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing

So - today - in the midst of feeling behind...amid the noise of siblings ... the pressures of life...
God Sang over me that I'm on Top of the World. :-)

And I love it!!



She has pink Drums!!