I like Facebook. I do.
It has it's bad points, I'm not going to lie. If you let it, it can suck time.
On the good side, It's allowed me to communicate with some very good friends in a new way.
One of the things that it also does is allow people to be creative and create quizzes. Which can also be a bad thing. More often than not these quizzes need a good spell checker or proof-reader. And grammar check. Some logic might be nice, too.
Occasionally you'll get a quiz that will come across your screen that is well thought out.
Then there are those quizzes that are totally graded on a curve. Where the happy answer is the opinion of the creator.
One such curve-graded quiz I took was the "How Crunchy of a parent Are you? Quiz". I know I'm not overly "crunchy" by "crunchy" standards.
I don't make all our food by scratch.
I buy things that don't say "natural" on them.
I don't buy herbs.
I go to the doctor if I need to.
Oh - and the worst of it is - I use disposable diapers and I let my kids get their shots. Often giving them sodas or suckers afterward.
Knowing the answer would be non-crunchy before I took it, I took the quiz anyway thinking the answer would give me a chuckle. I was so very wrong.
The answer was "Mainstream Mom" - which wasn't so bad, really, but the explanation of the answer told me that the creator of the quiz think "Mainstream moms" are mindless drones refusing to question the "establishment". The more I thought about this, the more I actually got mad. I didn't realize how MUCH of a curve this quiz was going to be graded on.
I'll give them the disposable diapers vs. Cloth diapers. That's fine.
It was a decision we made for convenience and ease-of-use. It's considered non-crunchy. (I certainly wasn't going to MAKE diapers in the season of life we were in at the time.)
However, The questions about birthing choices were limited in their scope and should have given me a clue to stop the quiz. My curiosity won out.
It was obvious that the creator of this quiz thinks that anyone who doesn't have their baby at home - or even without drugs in the hospital - is apparently brainless.
The more I thought about this, the more my nose got bent out of shape.
Then I started wondering about offering other moms hope.
I've been blessed to speak into the lives of several expectant moms. The first thing I tell them -- you DO NOT have to listen to anyone's horror birth stories.
When I was pregnant with Mini-Me, I heard a doozy that will top them all! It freaked me out!! Any expectant mom has a right to say, "I really don't want to hear this." And then don't.
But I digress...
I got to thinking how important it is to offer other moms hope.
The hope that it will be okay.
The hope that their 3 year old tyrant will be a leader for Jesus.
The hope that they will survive....Even if they have to take it one day at a time.
and often that's just me talking to myself.
I got thinking about hope because this quiz, offered no hope - just condemnation.
Obviously if I was not "crunchy mom" - then I have serious issues and am a lemming.
Knowing that I am far from Lemming-like, I reflected on my birth choices over a sink full of dish washing.
Mini-Me started coming slowly when she was finally ready to come. Labor started right after Church on Sunday. We had gone to a book store, and I was increasingly nauseous, achy and cranky. It was still very hot that late in October. Those feelings did not stop. It took me a while to realize I was actually in labor.
Now - I will give a mom the talking to I wish someone had given me - (It's okay to wiggle, I don't care how much the nurses scowl.) I also wish someone had told me that they put first time mom's through a proverbial "hell". I'd have handled it all much better because I can give as well as I can get - if I know what I'm up against.
We went to the hospital that night - and they sent me home. I could not sleep. The labor was strong enough. I tried sleeping in the chair. No good. Hindsight tells me that I should have scrubbed the floor or picked weeds...but that's hindsight for you. I was back at the hospital after The Price is Right was over. They admitted me, started IV's and pitocin. Back labor was, simply, hell. The epidural didn't take, nothing was working to progress labor - and Mini-Me was stuck.
C-section was offered because by then I was too tired to push. It was Middle of the night Monday now. I was so tired - I freaked out because my mind wasn't thinking clearly. I really just needed a good cry.
The doctor told me they had to really tug Mini-Me out of me, she was stuck so well. However it happened -- Baby #1 was born. Woo Hoo! Man, she had a lot of hair!!!
G-man came in 2000. I was happy.
Different hospital. Different Doctor. Good Epidural. Even waited until I was good and labor-y.
I even progressed and dilated nicely - compared to Mini-Me's birth.
I was hoping for a simple and easy V-bac. The baby had other plans.
G-man WOULD NOT descend.
He was still too high - and no amount of pushing was pushing him out.
C-section #2 happened.
After that section - My options for J-man was only surgery. I was actually fine with it.
The c-section was scheduled. He started coming EARLY!!! Labor started during prayer at church on a sunday night. The c-section was not going to happen for another week.
I called the doc. The on-call doc did her best to stop the labor so my OB could perform the c-section. Nothing stopped it, I couldn't sleep. It was almost like Mini-Me all over again. HOWEVER, once we got in the surgery room everything went really fast. I had a great anesthetist. I got to listen to my Ob and her assistant talk about malpractice insurance reform. It was a hoot. I was amused.
They discovered a knot in J-man's cord.
So -- while doing the dishes and thinking about this stupid quiz - I realized that if I had not had the previous 2 sections -- I would not have a J-man. His knot was loose -- but he was also 3 weeks early. If I had waited to have him "naturally"-- I might have lost him.
The "Crunchy mom" quiz offered me no hope because they CONDEMNED my choices. I am convinced to this very minute that God saved him - much like He saved Moses.
I am learning and have learned to be careful when talking to people.
I may have an opinion about things. However, there are very few things that are absolute for every family. I can name a few that are absolute - but that would be digressing again.
We can not offer hope, or even love, if we are convinced that our decisions are the only ones for everyone.
I don't even feel that way about homeschooling.
It's not for everyone and it's not always a forever choice.
I think it's good to offer options.
With those options - we need to offer hope. Not condemnation.
We need to offer hope.
In the meantime, I'll continue being non-crunchy.
Even if I am compared to jello. At least Jello can be molded.
And if I am mainstream- at least I can go with the flow...or against it...whatever the case may be.
It doesn't matter because I'm So happy to be me.